self love

Why It's OK to Not Always Feel OK

by Setareh Moafi, Ph.D., L.Ac.

We are a culture in the pursuit of happiness. It seems these days that everyone is looking for more ways to find happiness and enjoy life a little more. 

We all want to move quickly through those days and times when we’re experiencing the so-called negative feelings, including anger and sadness. And the quicker we try to move through them, the more difficult they seem to get.

Any time we resist how we actually feel and focus on how much better or different we'd rather feel, we suffer.

Ancient philosophies like Buddhism teach us not to judge or label anything, and instead learn to observe things exactly the way they are in the present moment. 

Our judgments are simply projections of the past that also manifest fears about our future. 

If we’re able to be present with all of our feelings and give ourselves permission to be exactly where we are, we learn to appreciate the full emotional spectrum. 

After all, there’s no way to know how good something is without having experienced the bad. We wouldn’t be able to gauge when we’re happy without having experienced what it feels like to be sad.

Life is beautiful because of our experience of the entire spectrum of emotions. Instead of trying to hold onto the positive emotions and set yourself free of the negative,  try to embrace them all without judgment and see where they take you. 


End the overwhelm, for good.

Learn the exact tools to unburden yourself of anxiety and stress and live a life of joy and peace by joining the From Surviving to Thriving online course now.


We struggle so much to feel great, to be happy, when in reality being well and happy is only one part of the greater picture of our lives. 

In darkness we’re vulnerable, we meet our shadows, and find new opportunities to grow. Each time we break through a dark moment, we find our brighter light. 

Each moment, good or bad, is important, as it all comprises the story of life in in its entirety. Even chronic sadness or depression is a chapter in life that can be moved through with the right tools and practices. 

Sometimes, it’s ok to not feel ok.

Sometimes we need to feel sadness, anger, defeat. And when we judge and resist these feelings because we’ve been taught how “bad” they are, we are actually feeding our demons and making them stronger. 

All feelings, like all things in life, are transient. 

But we can choose when we let go of each feeling by taking our power back from our minds. When we train the mind through practices such as meditation, Yoga and Qi Gong, we learn that we are not our minds and therefore we don't have to be or do what the mind is telling us. 

Feelings of unworthiness and resistance of what is can cause us to feel depressed, anxious and down on ourselves. But when we see these feelings and thoughts come up, we can choose to either to let them run their course and pass by, or hold onto them and allow them to define our lives and who we are.

You can be happy and still struggle, but it's a choice whether or not you want to turn a struggle in suffering. 

The difference between a happy person and a person who’s chronically unhappy is that the happy person will always see the light at the end of the tunnel—and even when she can't actually see the light, she has faith that it’s there.

A happy person has perspective on life and is able to see the good even in the hard times and know that there is always a greater lesson to be learned. 

The openness to growth, even in one’s darkest moments, brings a sense of hope and enthusiasm for what lies ahead.

By definition, to be happy is to feel or show pleasure or contentment. It doesn’t mean that everything in life is perfect and that there are no challenges. We can learn to allow ourselves to feel contentment with whatever is, even if the feeling makes us uncomfortable.

When we embrace the difficult feelings, we’re able to be fully present with what is. This presence allows us to let go, which then organically moves us toward the easier feelings of joy and peace that we spend so much time struggling to draw into our lives.

What you’ll come to realize over time is that it’s actually easier to embrace the difficult feelings than to pretend you’re feeling better than you are. When you embrace and accept what is, you find a greater sense of peace than you could ever arrive at on your own.

Every moment of difficulty has a purpose for the bigger picture of your life. You are always equipped to deal with whatever struggle is put in front of you. Each struggle is specifically in your life because you can deal with it.  Sometimes the challenge may feel so great that we deny ourselves our inherent power with which to overcome it because the tools we need are unfamiliar.

Whatever challenge enters your life is there because you have something to learn from it and the capacity to deal with it, even if you don’t realize it at first.

The Universe presents us with hardship to force us to use all of our tools and resources, and to reach a little further to grow each time. 

When we stop planning and trying to force things to happen, we realize that delays always have a purpose. There is a magic to seeing things in this way.

When we let go of the struggle and allow the natural order of things to carry us, we’re often taken to places, feelings, emotions and circumstances far better than we ever could have planned.

And thus we're gifted with a state of happiness we couldn't otherwise attain.


Setareh Moafi, Ph.D., L.Ac. is Co-Owner and Director of A Center for Natural Healing in Santa Clara, California, a health and wellness clinic that specializes in Classical Chinese Medicine and Traditional Japanese Acupuncture. Setareh offers clinical services and transformational workshops that blend the ancient practices of Classical Chinese Medicine and Yoga. More information at www.setarehmoafi.com and www.acenterfornaturalhealing.com

The Greatest Form of Love

by Setareh Moafi, PhD., L.Ac.

Throughout the month of February and especially on Valentine's Day, we're inundated with symbols and products that we've been conditioned to believe represent love — hearts, flowers, candy, photos of lovers, and fancy dinner dates.

Everything that represents Valentine's Day makes us acutely aware of the need to share love with the ones who matter most.

Whether or not you’re in relationship, this holiday can be more of a trigger than a celebration, let alone the disappointments you may feel around love, including needs and expectations that may feel unmet by your partner, kids, friends or other loved ones.

But the truth is, the love you're seeking from others is already inside you.

Interestingly, the middle of Winter during which Valentine's Day takes place is actually the optimal time to cultivate the most important kind of love — the love for oneself.

Winter is associated with the Kidneys and the Water element. Water is about contemplation, quietude and self-cultivation, all of which are necessary to build our primary energy, known as Jing, which is stored in the Kidneys.

Preservation of your Jing through proper self-care and diet, as well as practices of self-cultivation such as Qi Gong, Yoga and Meditation helps slow down the aging process and prevent a plethora of illnesses and chronic degenerative diseases.

Water is the element that balances Fire according to the Five Element system of Chinese Medicine, and Fire is associated with the Heart.

The Kidney's Water cools the Heart's Fire but if the Kidney energy is drained or insufficient, Heart Fire will blaze, resulting in symptoms such as anxiety and insomnia. 

In Chinese Medicine, the Heart not only circulates the blood, but it also houses the spirit, known as the Shen. A nourished, settled Heart manifests as a calm spirit and mind.

When there is sufficient Kidney energy, the Heart is calm and we can sleep more restfully and feel clear and easy with our thoughts and perception of the world.

Sufficient Kidney Qi anchors the Heart Qi and helps us cultivate a feeling of self-love. As this form of love abounds, it easily flows into others. 

That's why, like nearly everything else, it's so important to first cultivate love for oneself to then be able to authentically share it with others.

Practices such as Meditation and self-reflection amplify self-love and therefore nourish the Heart.

Heart energy drives our passion and creativity. By cultivating self-love, we're able to generously share love and compassion with others.

Being in love is the reconnection with the whole of who you really are
— Abraham Hicks

Self-love connects us to the highest form of love from our Source and when we're connected in this way, the love that we're able to share with others is limitless.

Fennel Essential Oil is a powerful natural element that can support you to cultivate self-love.

While it's commonly used to promote digestion and appetite, Fennel oil also strengthens and warms the Kidneys and improves the communication between the Heart and Kidneys. In this way, Fennel can help you feel a sense of comfort and greater connection with yourself.

Fennel can be used in a blend as prescribed by a healthcare practitioner and used topically along the Kidney meridian.

This Valentine's Day, take some time to reflect and be with yourself to nourish your Kidneys and settle your Heart. Remember that you have everything you need to feel loved and that your true love lies within.

If you’re struggling to open your heart, listen to episode #7 of The Natural Healing Podcast for tangible tools to support you right now.

Let me know in the comments below — how are you cultivating the greatest form of love in your life?


Open Your Heart,
Experience Endless Possibilities

Download this free audio guide to learn 4 pillars that’ll transform your health & life.


Setareh Moafi, Ph.D., L.Ac. is Co-Owner and Director of A Center for Natural Healing in Santa Clara, California, a health and wellness clinic that specializes in Classical Chinese Medicine and Traditional Japanese Acupuncture. Setareh offers clinical services and transformational workshops that blend the ancient practices of Classical Chinese Medicine and Yoga.